Category Archives: Counselling

Skype Counselling.
Client Currently living in South East Asia.

Hi Jacqui
Thanks, here is an update on how I’ve been feeling recently. I’m feeling like a healing process has definitely begun. I’ve noticed a lot of positive changes in myself since I began counselling and all my reading, writing etc

I feel more rooted in the present. I know that I don’t need to keep running, keep dreaming of the future, but that I should appreciate what I have today, that I’ve already arrived. I don’t need to wait until tomorrow, until I am perfect, to find my joy and peace of mind. I can find joy today in the here and now. This is really a big deal for me. I used to spend so much time thinking about the future even up until quite recently. xxxx and I would spend ages talking about where we are going to travel when we finish our contracts here and where we will live after that and then what we will do etc etc. But we’ve stopped. I realised there’s no point in planning – things change anyway, and we will spend our time and energy focusing on our lives now and making the most of our time here. I’ve realised that if you’re always striving for something different you miss what’s right in front of you, the magic all around.
I am content with the here and now, what I am doing. I don’t need to have my whole life mapped out. It is much more exciting this way – life is much more of an adventure!
I actually feel like I’ve let go of so much old pain that I’ve been carrying around with me for so long. I have barely thought about the past. I used to replay it in my head all the time and feel anxious.For the first time since I can remember, I don’t dwell on the past and I don’t feel guilty and I don’t feel angry and I don’t feel sad when I think about my past and my xxx and xxx. I think I cried all my tears and I don’t think there are any left in me. I don’t feel anxious when I think about xxx and xxx. I don’t feel responsibility towards them for their happiness. I know they are in charge of their own lives and it’s not my place to worry about where their lives are going. I realise that I’m not responsible for my Mum and her drinking. There’s nothing I can do about it.
I feel more accepting of my family and their flaws as well as myself and my flaws. I feel like the burden has been lifted from me. I realise I was hurting myself, and it wasn’t doing myself or anyone any good – it wasn’t making the slightest bit of difference to anyone but me. The idea of sharing responsibility also helped me – I have other family members too, I’m not alone.
I realise how I deserve to be happy and to lead my own life. That I am only responsible for my self and my happiness, and no one else’s. We all have choices and we must own them.
I know that my past will always be a part of me, and I feel content with that and accepting of it, because it’s brought me to where I am today. I feel like I’ve brought so much hidden locked away feelings out into the open. I don’t have anything to be ashamed of now. I can see my past more clearly now, more objectively. I feel like my inner child is smiling now. I feel less isolated and alone knowing that others have been through similar experiences and worse.

Jacqueline Hurst Counsellor
Leamington Spa, and Coventry

Introduction to Counselling

Introduction to Counselling – here I talk about the benefits of counselling and what patients can expect from counselling sessions with me:

Introduction to Counselling Video Extract:

I would like to take this opportunity to just say a little bit about how counselling works and the kind of issues that people might bring to a counselling session.

What is counselling?

I would describe Counselling as a confidential helping relationship. Counselling is a form of therapy that helps when you are going through emotional difficulties, and feeling overwhelmed by issues that you might be facing in your life at that moment.

Counselling is about having someone that really listens – something that in today’s society seems to be quiet rare. Someone who really listening to your thoughts and understanding some of your most closely guarded feelings, and helping you explore your problems in a safe confidential environment and in a totally non judgmental way.

Counselling is not about telling someone what to do, because that would create a dependency. However I will be able to help you, and facilitate your own skills in finding ways to sort things out for yourself.

Counselling gives you the opportunity to have two people examine your life, teaching you how to become the “passive observer of your own life” giving you the ability to be able to see the old triggers and patterns and to help you stop reacting to situations in the same old way, which inevitably ends up with you feeling very stressed  and  creating lots of anxiety.

I work with individuals or couples.

When working with couples we will be looking at how communication works within the relationship particularly focusing on assumptions and expectations.

Counselling / Psychotherapy  therapies could mean learning how to communicate with others in a more productive way and also improving relationships, it could mean learning to take care of yourself in a better way, by living a more balanced life.

I am an accredited bereavement counselor and have worked extensively with those facing loss and change.

In Summary

Counselling is about self development, its about you, about working with you to understand and work though the many issues that affect us from time to time. Helping you to rediscover who you are and come to self acceptance.

Its about you becoming better at learning to cope with your and emotions feelings.

On our journey we will work towards building greater self confidence and self esteem.

My clients come to me by self referral, you don’t need a GP referral and I work with many employee assist programs.

I am an accredited BACP member and I am a recognised provider of counselling and psychotherapy to the leading private health care provider in the UK and a member of their mental health and wellbeing network.

If you are looking for a counselor in the Warwickshire area (where I work) I have clinics both in Coventry and Leamington Spa – contact me to see how I can help.

Counselling Case Study

The following information has been changed to protect my client’s identity.

Jane is in her 40’s and happily married mother of twin’s aged 4. Her husband is in remittance stage two MS. Jane came to me for counselling because of the recent death of her elderly mother. She had previously had counselling 10 years ago when her first husband committed suicide. We worked together for 8 sessions.

My initial meeting with Jane was focused on finding out the nature of her bereavement and for me to describe the kind of counselling that I have on offer. My initial session gives me an idea of what the client may need and also allow a client to get an idea of how sessions may be needed and expectations and goals, so that we have a firm base for the counselling relationship to be built on.

Jane was unsure as to whether counselling would help her, she felt her previous experience of counselling had failed her; she felt that her counselor had been very young and that some of the material that they had covered had been beyond that counselor’s scope. However Jane was open for change and hopefully we could work well together and that my previous experience in bereavement counselling would be very beneficial. We agreed to review our progress at the end of three sessions, to ensure that Jane was happy with the progress.

During the session’s we talked about the nature of her relationship with her Mother and it became apparent very quickly that Jane felt guilty. She had spent her mother’s final moments trying to resuscitate her. Now Jane wished that she had spent those precious moments telling her how much she loved her. Jane regretted that she had not spent more time with her mother during her last few months and could have been more “patient” with her. The final picture of her mother’s last distressing moments kept playing through her mind.

Grief effects everyone in different ways and Jane could not cope with her feelings of guilt and remorse, the conflicting thoughts, the reality of trying to save her mother and the guilt of not expressing her love and spending enough quality time. She would look for excuse’s not to go home to her village and look after her elderly parents, she was an only child born to the couple later in life.

Jane was seeking change or to come to some kind of acceptance. There was also unresolved emotions around the death of her first husband whom she married very young and had a rocky relationship with – suffering from mental illness he tragically committed suicide after the relationship came to an end. This situation among others had resulted in Jane labeling herself as “unlucky” she felt that this might be a self full filling prophecy, not least that now she was happily married her husband was now suffering from MS.

Jane portrayed herself as a very capable businesswoman and mother, however there seemed to be a vulnerable inner child in side her crying out to be heard. I fed this feeling back, she was taken aback by my observation and said that this was how she felt, and we worked on giving this child a voice.

Since her mother’s death Jane was left questioning her whole being “what is it all about?” She had been a philosophy student and enjoyed thoroughly understanding things, later in life she had become an accountant, so now seemed to be relying more on logic, she seemed to be searching now for a more spiritual understanding, there appeared to be this internal battle going on.

Jane was also becoming concerned because she felt that she was “becoming obsessed by the health of her twin girls, she would sit up until the early hours of the morning alone with a bottle of wine and worry. These thoughts were hard to put down and were now affecting her sleep.

I noticed that during our sessions Jane would always underestimate the gravity of the situation she was describing, often saying “others had it worse” I fed this back to Jane, she gave herself permission for the first time to experience and accept how difficult her life had been; understanding that it was her avoidance tactics that had been masking her true feelings.
Jane described this feeling as if a “light had been switched on”.

There was a visible change in Jane she became lighter, unburdened and said that this was the best that she had felt in years. We ended our work after 8 sessions.

How we worked together:

We looked how Jane felt about her close relationships and how “guilt “ played a huge role, impacting terribly on how she felt about herself. We worked on some childhood issues, how being the only children to older parents impacts on you in many ways. Accepting the fact that she could never have saved her Mother and that  her Mother always new how much she loved her. Most of our work was centered on the process of loss and the five stages of loss, understanding that each loss needs to be recognised and worked through.

Seeing the changes in Jane through counselling her and the many clients that I work with makes my job so incredibly rewarding.

Thank you so much for all your help during the sessions I had with you, I have no idea how I got out of the desperate hole I was in but one thing’s for sure, I couldn’t have done it without you. When I first came to see you I didn’t know how I would ever get through but right from the start you made me feel it would be ok, and as time progressed you taught me the skills to cope and lift myself up. I still use those skills daily to keep moving forwards so from a very dark and lonely place I can now see glimmers of excitement of what life has to offer. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Testimonial for: Counselling in Coventry

I would like to thank you so much for all the help. Thanks to you I feel I am back on track again. I feel I can have a better life now.

Testimonial for: Counselling in Leamington Spa

Thank you for the patient and smiling help you’ve given me in the last two years. I am a much happier and settled person now than when we first met. I am now able to look at the future with confidence and excitement.

Testimonial for: Counselling in Coventry

Thank you so much for all your help and support, after my past experiences with my symptoms of panic and anxiety I found your help so valuable. I was finally able to understand what I was experiencing, your knowledgeable explanation about anxiety suddenly made sense and by listening to your guided relaxation and description of mindfulness will help me to practice at home. For the first time since the onset of my condition 18 months ago I feel I have been listened too and understood and that there is hope.

Testimonial for: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Counselling in Coventry.

Jacqueline helped me through the most traumatic and difficult part of my life, and I was able to put my complete trust in her. She offered strategies and advice which showed me how to make sence of everything. I always received a warm welcome and was treated as an individual. My problems and anxieties were met with patience, compassion and understanding which gave me confidence to face life again. To spend time with Jacqueline helped me in so many ways. I shall always be grateful.

Counselling for Anxiety in Coventry

Just wanted to say thank you for all you help during a difficult period. I still get support from thinking about the strategies and advice you gave. I am still doing well, its coming up for 10 months since I had a drink and I think about it less and less, I have even joined weight watchers and lost a stone. Many thanks and very best wishes.

Testimonial for: Counselling in Coventry

Thank you for everything you are doing for me, I could never have got this far without your support, I am very grateful for everything.

Testimonial for: Counselling in Coventry